Wang Ba Dan / Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Somewhere over the Rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

In the land, that I heard of once,

Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow

Skies are blue

And the dreams

That you dare to dream

Really do come true

Some day, I'll wish upon a star,

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drops,

Way up above the chimney tops

Thats where you'll find me

I know somewhere over the rainbow

The blue birds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh why can't I

"Somewhere over the Rainbow" lyrics depict a pre-adolescent girl's desire for an escape from the "hopeless jumble" of this world, from sadness of raindrops to the bright new word "over the rainbow". It expresses childlike faith that "Heaven" will magically "open a door" to a place where "troubles melt like lemon-drops".

Humans

It's amazing how people can actually create things which are multiples of their size. As I peered out of the MRT window yesterday, I saw a couple of people in the streets below. They looked small from above. They were insignificant as compared to the stretches of roads, street lamps, buildings and several other architectures. All these fixtures and architectures evolved from the minds and hands of humans. Humans could actually create things which are bigger and longer than them. Interesting if when I really give such things much thoughts.

Since we could produce such things, why can't we make our lives better? Why convict ourselves to the evil side of life? Were our lives forged to take these treacherous paths? Is it a losing game? Can't we turn the tables to make our lives better? The process of turning a heavy table may be tough but it could still be turned eventually, if the desire is there. So probably, at the end of the day, it boils down to choices. Do we want to get out of it? Many a time, it's an issue of 'want to' rather than 'cannot'. A person may want to crawl out of a dark pit to see the much more comforting sunlight again... however, the way up is arduous. As the period spent in the pit drags, the person gets more accustomed to the darkness, and soon he may be overwhelmed with lethargy and overpowered by the weakness, leading him to think that he may not get out. There, he blew his chance. If he had wanted to climb up, he would have.. and he would then be able to see the sun again. A choice has to be made.

A Vision

The rain just now brought a vision to my mind...
I see myself cuddling in a couch on my house's patio,
Sipping hot chocolate from my mug.
I see rain drops falling beyond the patio,
And mildly strong, refreshing breeze kept me cool.
Not to forget, my loyal radio that sent sentimental songs lingering through the air.
A word to describe the night... splendid.

Hectic. China. Chinese.

The past week or so had been really hectic. Had a couple of projects at hand... so I was robbed of my sleep. Had to wake up early on Fri to go back to sch... despite it being my free day. Hmph! But I kinda earned my sleep back... a little... on Sun.

The cumulated lethargy must have knocked some senses off me. Was in the car on my way home on Fri nite.. and suddenly... I felt that my name sounded soooooo foreign. For a few moments, I was struggling to recover/discover my identity.

Heard PM Lee's Nat'l Day rally just now. Did have a good impression. And what he said kinda changed my perceptions and attitudes... especially with regards to both China and the Chinese language. I may just go to China if there are opportunities abound there for me... and to prepare myself for that... I will try to brush up on my Chinese... if not, all my pre-years of Chinese education would have gone to waste. I would've wasted my efforts in school then.

Sch's gonna start in the morning... and it's time to go through that vicious cycle of projects and tutorials again. It's my last year... gonna HAVE TO make it through and MUST convocate in the mid of 2005. I MUST and I WILL.

From Simple Things, The Best Things Begin

"It's funny how from simple things, the best things begin" taken off from "I finally found someone" by Barbara Streisand & Bryan Adams. It's a song filled with feelings and the lyrics though simple are really mundane and sweet... it's about the simple love between two people. This song will be a great pick for a wedding. Wonder what that'll be for me.

Simplicity is very much gone in our lives now. How nice if some things could just be less complexed. I hope people will just portray their real, simple feelings towards me... no ill intentions harboured.

I abhor those who toy with others' feelings. Feelings are very personal, divine gifts; hence, people have no discretion to abuse others' feelings. Feelings are to be protected, treasured, nurtured,...

Romeo & Juliet is one of my fave shows/story of all time. Despite the enmity and negative vibes of the people around them, R&J's hearts were not tainted and they were still true to their feelings and cherished each other. It was only after the tragedy that R&J's parents realized their mistakes... their negative feelings they had against the other family. But it was too late. So, never hurt others for one's own selfish reasons/desires. If only both R&J's families accepted one another, R&J and even their families could have blissful lives together and the parents would not have to live their lives in remorse over the loss of their children. Remember... It's from Simple things that the Best things begin.

Baden

Went with my aunt and cousin to Baden at Holland V. to 'chill out'. Quite a nice place... not too smokey. Holland V. has definitely changed... there were now no access to certain stretches of road, ie. the coffee bean and noodle store streets. Feel like a frog in the well. Ah well. Am so bz these days. The beers at Baden was 1 for 1 before 9pm I think...rather good deal for ard $10 for approx 0.3litres. Ordered wedges too... they were nice... crisp and hot, and the serving was quite big.

Downed ard 35cl (shld be german) of Hoegaarden and a gulp of dark Erdinger. Hoegaarden... as my cousin said tasted rather fruity when I first gulped it. Thought I taste bud sensed some lychee flavour. But the subsequent gulps were different... the bitterness kinda accentuated, although these beers were not as bitter as the likes of Tiger, Carlsberg, etc. But I must say the beers were smooth.

Consequence of drinking that much beer : headache, increased heart beat frequencyy, a little nauseous... well, but I was still thinking straight though feeling a little dazed/drowsy. But I wanna applaud myself for drinking that much (though insignificant as compared to others) :p

Am still not accustomed to drinking alcohol... so won't be frequenting those places... except for some occasions.

Sleepy. K.O. in the car just now after drinking.

A Dislike

I've to come clean with this. I really don't like it when people assume that I'll be free... that I don't have other commitments. It's just that sometimes I try to be free and push my personal stuff to the back... anyway, I can sleep later. But sometimes, it's not me, myself whom I've to account to. I've commitments with other people. Everytime, I would try, as hard as I can, to cater to everyone. But it really gets very hard and draining when I get put 'on hold'. I really can't take it. I do have appointments and plans with other people. And when I'm put 'on hold', I can't seem to arrange anything with the others, hence, they get pulled into the situation too. I don't like such incidents coz' I like to get things confirmed or done asap when others are involved. I have guilt pangs when people have to 'wait' for me to schedule their day.

Argh!

Aches

HEADAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm always caught up in situations and don't know which way to go. I hope to accomodate all parties involved, especially if they're close to me, but I can't. Try hard as I may, I just can't at times. Currently, am in a fix again! I dunno where to turn. How? How? How? Have to settle the issue asap, by morning after the sun breaks through.

And I still can't forget it. Why? Why? Why? Tortuous. Once again. Probably the life of a hermit would be nice. Cut off from the world. Me, me and me alone. Then I don't have to keep trying make other people happy or put them at ease or consider their feelings although I would often put myself in very uncomfortable situations. But it's better to see others happy then provide comfort for myself. See. That's the point. I dun like being in unpleasant situations...BUT I can't help it. It's like there are two souls in my body. That's why everything's so piled up within me.. my thoughts.. my feelings.

Headache.
Heartache.

Bon Voyage

Sent Jiahui off at the airport early this morning. She has finally left for Philly... feeling a little weird suddenly... she'll be away from Sg for ard 10mths. Not that we'll get to meet or chat with each other frequently during school term... but... I guess it's due to the international difference this time round. But anyway, my brain juices were depleting in amounts at around 4-5 am this morning to think.

Hope she liked the "monkey" bag. My aunt finally knows who the popular "monkey" is. Heh.

After airport, it was off to E-lin's hs to sleep and the total cab fare was freaking ex I thot. Midnight charges are exorbitant esp when the distance is long. Went back home in the afternoon.. and I slept again. My 'self' has succumbed to weariness.

Shall now start on AB312 pjt... 30%(!!!!!!!!) of the entire AB312 coursework! Must do a commendable job especially when other group members' marks will be affected too. Good luck to me and my group :)

Assumptions

You always assume that you know my thoughts. You think you know but in fact, you don't. It's your words against mine. If you care to ask or observe, and not believe ur assumptions in a conclusive manner, you'll actually see the truth.

Weakened Heart

Have been checking internet frequently since add/drop period started in the hope of getting a place in a mod X which I'm interested in.. but to no avail. Initially, I did harbour the thot of approaching the tutor of the mod and email him. However, I received a mass mail frm the sch saying that requests for placements in PEs classes would not be accepted. Hence, I thot that there was chances of getting a placement in that class was slim and I could only wait for someone to drop the mod.

I heard frm elin that they approached the tutor to ask if he could open up a place. The tutor said that chances were high if I attended the first lesson which I didn't because of that particular email which threw me off track, coupled with a tired mind. This was definitely to my dismal for a gd opportunity was forgone. Annoyance too set in consequently.. and it was directed at that email.

Have sent an email to the nice tutor explaining my situation and am waiting for a reply frm the office. Can only hope for the best. Hope... I'm quite scared of this word. The higher my hopes, the harder I fall. Rather similar situations had happened before. My ascents had been rather high and the plunges were rather hard to take in. Something negative culminated inside me with each fall. The shield has eroded, something weakened.

Your Juno Is In Pisces

Juno in Pisces is in love with love and wishes very much to be involved with someone who will support her and care for her as deeply as she cares for others. Juno in Pisces, take care in choosing your partner, however, and make sure that you are appreciated for all of your fine qualities rather than used as a doormat. Your partner shouldn't wish to take advantage of your sensitive kindness but instead should view you as a much-needed ally and friend. Take off your rose-colored glasses and see your partner as they really are and you'll make the right choice. You lack a bit of logical distance and it's best that you choose a partner who is happy to take care of practical details and leave you free to be dreamy, romantic and loving. You may also be unwilling to see the negative sides of your relationships. With a little attention paid to the values and desires of those you choose you will have relationships which are long, loving and truly fulfilling.

The Advent

Was at Jiahui's house scanning my b'day photos and she helped me in setting up a decent blog. Thanks, girl :)

Well.. why did the idea of having a personal blog descend upon me? Simply coz' I'm going Hong Kong over the short Nat'l Day Hols. The overture of my trip would lie in this blog. This trip has been a long awaited one. I've been wanting to get out of Singapore and this is not only attributed to the fact that it has been 8 years since I got out of SG (excluding M'sia). Need a breather...hence, I've termed this trip "The HK Escapade/Getaway". Another reason is to keep a compos mentis me. The blog as an outlet would be good. Not to mention ppl who could share some quotes or life experiences.